We grew up being told we can’t fly.
In this world, we are raised simply to walk. And as we grew, our legs were strong, but our imagination atrophied, as did our potential. Our travel was limited to set paths carved by our ancestors. Getting off that path was extremely difficult. Anytime we jumped, we were derided, laughed at, and shamed.
And as those that overcome that shame took our glances outward, we stumbled and fell immediately. It hurt, and we didn’t get far. We longed for the comfort of home. Our culture took those stumbling blocks, and that pain of hurt limbs, as proof that the paths carved where the best to go.
But some persevered. And we trained our unused muscles. We came up with methods that were effective and not painful at all. We awoke within us an ability to leave the ground entirely. Most were startled by the site of us floating, giddy and free. Some got angry, some scared, some envious. A few were inspired, however.
After unnecessarily lifelong confinement to the ground, our ideas were mocked as jumping off a cliff. It is an intimidating task to overcome what you think is set in biology. But our biggest block is that in our head: what if we fall? What if we break?
I’d love to just say “Yes, you can. YOU can do this. I did!” But that’s not very convincing. My goal here is to empower all interested in an open relationship with a few tools to make it successful. I’d like to provide all the information between the lines that you may not have read in the classical tomes. I’m here to tell you what it’s going to feel like to be open and how to process that instead of giving you a to-do list.
Are you ready to build your wings?
Honesty and Dishonesty (NVC in Polyamory)
Romantic Empathy and the Myths of the Friend zone
Domestic Violence and other abuse in relationships
New Relationship Energy (and keeping old relationships fresh)
The Toxicity of Consent Culture
Opening an Existing Relationship
Relationship Preservation and Toxic Monogamy
How To Never Break Up Again
Commitment In Polyamory
Polyamory as a World Peace Movement
In practicing polyamory, I kinda dived right in before I really read anything. I practiced, and learned the hard way; so many lessons in my life already spilled out on hundreds of pages of relationship manuals. Now that open relationships tiptoeing into the mainstream, required reading is the first step for the uninitiated. And although I think the current literature focuses on a lot on ideals, values, boundaries, and dos and don’ts, there is a dearth of information of some of the more cerebral, emotional, intuitive, and frankly radically transformative consequences of being open.
Too many people I know are curious, and intellectually attracted to the ideas, but cannot resolve some of the more entrenched emotions they feel. Exploration stays in the realm of hypothetical, with practice honesty, communication, and freedom that come with polyamory templated onto current lifestyles.
Welcome, and enjoy.